And she sort of got up and walked out of the room and called someone in. So we gave up and said we'd arrange the funeral ourselves. We had the baby cremated. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible. I was then told yet again bad news. He was sure the consultant on Monday would see that the measurements were completely normal and that there was nothing to worry about. For women who have been given distressing news about their baby during the scan, there should be a health professional available to provide immediate support. I wanted to let nature take its course. or sort of light chat that we'd, we'd experienced before with previous scans. I was told that while bad news at the 12 w scan is often of the life or death kind, bad news at the 20 week scan is often of the 'needs an operation in childhood' or 'needs to wear a brace for a year' kind. It would be a personal tragedy for my partner and me, but that is all. Many people were deeply affected by their experiences of the 20-week and subsequent specialist scans. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see 'Resources'). I wanted to be a passive patient while the doctor did what he had to do. I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), tbh, they never give you good news at scans. I couldn't have the added responsibility for changing his mind. I remained positive, we researched lots of cases of mistaken dates, inconclusive scans, and compared them to our situation; scrutinising everything to try and believe it was all one big misunderstanding. We were bound to each other because of the blood that was on both our hands. But she told us, she told us, she gave us some more detail, she said, 'There's this, there's a big gap in the brain where there shouldn't be'. Which she reassured us that she'd be absolutely fine, this was a one-off. Rather sharply, my partner tried to explain. My heart goes out to you OP. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. 80 percent of my pregnancies have ended in death and I felt like they were telling me those babies didn't matter. And you could see, where you should have a picture of 4 chambers, you could really see 2. Away you go'. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. the amniocentesis) and the pregnancy had already ended, or because the scan was not routinely offered in their region 5 or more years ago. And they took us out of the scanning room, into a more quiet room while they typed up the report. No discussion, no quiet contemplation. Tears started to roll down my face. I was experiencing some light bleeding for the past few days. I thought surely everything is ok, as they couldn't detect twins the week before. When I think about how long it took them to deliberate ultimately, maybe not, but it just felt like a bit of a fast food situation, didn't it? I'd had the scan in the scanning room, I can't remember what they call it now, it's silly, it's gone from my head. My partner watched the baby come out, and for a split second I saw a look of joy on his face. On the third day, we got a phone call. Being generous and kind generally happens only when you're happy. He felt doing more blood tests would only cause me more discomfort and false hope. The first words I said were: "If there's anything wrong then it's my fault", I had been working 70, nearly 80 hours the previous weeks and pushed myself hard. When I see a child with Down's syndrome, I have a tremendous need to explain myself and apologise a million times over. She just said, 'It's a bit short, it needs to be checked' again basically. And, so they sent me home at that stage because they said the specialist wasn't available till the following day, which was awful. The same unique expression he had when he saw our two year old born. Limitations of the 18-20 week scan The baby was kicking so hard that I began to believe him. When I told him what had happened, he refused to believe anything was wrong and said he'd sort it out when he came home. And you know, we were laughing and joking. Smiling at myself and picturing me and Sam becoming parents. For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. And I know I can't hurry up the process of grieving. Parents get a chance to emotionally adapt to news and plan. Find more information and details of support groups on NHS.UK. I know it is still early days. In order for the sonographer to get good images of your baby, the scan is carried out in a dimly lit room. And attribute some blame to them. In some very serious rare cases, where no treatment is possible, the baby will die soon after it is born or during pregnancy. He suggested he perform an amniocentesis immediately, to rule out any chromosomal problems. By 7pm, I still hadn't delivered the baby. The consultant showed us the letter with our result on and, yes, there were the words "Down's syndrome". All the time, the baby was kicking and I felt like a murderer waiting to strike her victim. No, you couldn't see there was anything wrong. The sonographer then passes a hand-held probe over your skin to examine the babys body. It's a bit at the back of the brain and - no I can't remember what it is - it's called, it's something that's called Dandy-Walker mal, The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) have produced a report on Termination of Pregnancy for Fetal Abnormality in England, Scotland and Wales (May 2010). And that was scanning up from the above the head, then you were coming up through the child's head, so you were seeing the chambers in the brain, sort of it was evident in all four chambers of the brain, then suddenly one chamber was empty. As I say, I'm not a very nice person at the moment. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. We use some essential cookies to make this website work. Intellectually, I knew this was not the case. It's, I mean you can't tell from these scans what you're looking at really, but I remember thinking, 'it just doesn't look quite right' or something, but I didn't give it much thought. We just couldn't use the words. See more information about the 20-week ultrasound scan. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Went back a week later for the scan and, you were with me for this one, weren't you? And they actually asked my husband to come in before they spoke to me. Thanks girls, it's amazing how protected our babies are in there isn't it?! So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. And I, my husband and I both ran our own business at the time so we were desperate to get back and do some work, and things were going really well, so.. No, we really didn't, with hindsight we probably should have, but not at all, it never occurred to us to be worried about it. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan. Those two weeks were agonising for us both. I was young, I didn't need one. I just want to be normal again. We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services. But on, in the middle of March, 10th March it was, we had a 20 week scan. Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. As I was called for my scan I was nervous and emotional. Then I picked myself up. I don't know how we got through the next couple of days. The nursery I had selected for our two-year-old son; my maternity leave; the bunk beds; the summer holiday suitable for a newborn baby. It sounds crazy, but I just knew. Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. (See. I was given a leaflet and told to return four days later to see the consultant. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. We didn't feel we could tell anyone what was happening. I was told they needed to do a blood test to get a bench mark of my hormone levels. And thank God I did. It felt so wrong. So I was, they couldn't actually finish the scan then, the baby was moving around too much, so they couldn't scan the heart and the stomach. And I couldn't escape the feeling that I was being selfish. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. And they took me into another room. I didn't really know what that was. Wed like to set additional cookies to understand how you use GOV.UK, remember your settings and improve government services. If you are not sure, you can contact them and ask. You get extra care and monitoring as appropriate and baby is proactively treated. They said the brain was okay -, We were in there for a matter of minutes, literally -, In and out. The termination would be averting a tragedy. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. And so, yeah we got to, carried on with the pregnancy, kept seeing the consultant, kept sitting in the waiting room outside, because there was a terribly long waiting time sometimes, depending on what time you had the appointment. I did think it was a bit strange that she wasn't talking, and then she sort of said, 'Oh, I think there's a problem. hi ladies. Have I misunderstood what's going on?' At first the closeness came through a sense of guilt. And that was extraordinary to see the detail that that could offer. Possibly with hindsight we could have been more worried about it, but was probably a good thing we weren't, because we weren't worried about anything basically. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. After preparing myself to face having to take the medication. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier . I didn't think my instincts were worth much. I was sat on the sofa working, my son was at nursery and my partner was in the bath. And I can, the words that the scanning member of staff used, "Everything's fine", will stay with me forever. unfortunately the 20 week anomaly scan can pick up serious issues, hearing heart beats at midwife appointment doesn't let us know what's going on inside the body in detail.
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